On a starry night that followed a siesta, she confessed to me that she was called a pushover. I comforted her with a tailor-made structured conversation that helps people suppress their pain or hurt brought upon by true emotions and escape them temporarily, rather than experiencing and letting them go forever.
A few nights later, while I was watching a cozied up rom com, the pain of her voice popped up in my mind and spiraled up a zillion thoughts.
I stacked up my cushions on my reading chair and closed my eyes as I leaned back to bring all my attention to everything that I ever knew of her, said and unsaid.
First thoughts first.. good looking, well dressed, connoisseur of aesthetics and a voracious reader… I shook my head and went deeper. Ah.. there she is!
I saw her soul that glowed like a million moons. She had the eyes of a warrior, the heart of a queen and the strength of a saviour. She was fearless yet kind, limitless yet humble, selfless yet focused, and above all flawless yet grounded.
Between her true self and the projected reality are hoarded up layers of lies she was made to believe as a child, the negligence that brought her self doubt, the arrogance that made her rough, the insults and the unkind words and deeds that made her feel small.
Being a pushover is not her ornament but her shield to protect her heart. Now that someone has shed the light upon the fake wall she had built around herself to safeguard her wounds, soon she will see the fearless, limitless soul that she actually is!
Sometimes we should thank people who express exactly what they feel about us because the words that cause the wound is actually a window to the soul, and heals us.
Someday, she will get back to being herself, with the true power, courage and wisdom that lies right below the wound that is pricking her now like bee stings. She will tear some of these layers with grit, wash some with her tears, wipe out some with her anger and burn a few with her wisdom. But, one by one, she will peel off the layers of self doubts and shine through with her own luminescence!
Do you know her? Are you her? Either way you must know that this journey is beautiful and you must be proud of it!
