When a loving soul incubates hate…
Something that has been quite a challenge all through is how to react to an unjust, unfair remark. There is a trait in some people who never like others who transform because they either struggle or fail at their personal goals.
I have pushed my limits constantly and outgrown my limitations everytime. Even my best friends often get surprised at things that I do, which even I never intended to. Challenges excite me and everytime I take up a big challenge, I have always bloomed and blossomed. So, it’s like a double treat.
But alongside this sweet experience, I have also seen a segment of people who spew hatred and try to pass comments with an intention to lull your spirit. Simply because they themselves are trying hard to change or failing to push their limits. I lately understood that I either remind them that they have not done it yet or instill a fear that they will never do it because of their under estimation of my capabilities.
See, they are not bad people. Sometimes, it can be someone who genuinely likes you and cares for you but they subconsciously hate your success. If it is an enemy, it is easy to chuck them out but wondering how to handle a lovely person who hates you grow?
Here are some tips to identify this behaviour and tackle it:
- Sarcasm and/or bullying
Generally, they take up the so called witty and light-hearted route to criticize your efforts. - Loud in the crowd
They will be very normal with you when you are alone with them, but if you are with people like common friends or relatives, the way they treat you will change and will start cornering you. They will try to create a bad impression of you in everybody’s mind. - Curious about your progress
They will constantly enquire how you are progressing in your goal. Say if you have taken up a fitness regime, they will often ask you how much weight you lost etc. in a tone that is pleasing. There are some who are genuinely concerned also, so to differentiate who has the negative trait, try telling them you have quit the gym and just look at their eyes. There ‘lies’ your answer. - False friendship
They will commit to being a good friend to you in private and try to break your confidence in front of others. They just try to play with your emotional weakness by creating a fake trust. - Vibe check
You will naturally feel uncomfortable when you are with this person. Physical discomfort or restlessness is a big sign of toxic people.
So, how to handle such people who are so close to you?
- Forgive
They are not aware of their behaviour 90% of the times and are reacting from a place of hurt and fear in their minds. Trust me, they need more love than you. So forgive their actions. - Avoid
Limit spending time with them and being in their energy but make sure they don’t obviously make it out. Remember, they are hurt souls who need to be embraced and not estranged. Be kind and just make sure you don’t catch up their energy. - Appreciate
They lack confidence and that is why they cannot see you win. So, give them constant but genuine appreciation and try boosting their morale. A self confident person will never put down another person. - Ignore
Every word they say, just ignore. It’s their version of you and you have nothing to do about it.
Everyone is fighting their own battle so it is important to be kind to such people who are secretly hating your success inspite of liking you. Give them your love, support and positive energy so they eventually become more confident and change. But also remember to be more kinder to yourself and stay away from that energy.
Whatever you have set out to do, your journey is an outcome of your efforts. Turn a deaf ear to the rest of the world, go out and win!
